Community Housing or Co-Housing Community MealsCommunity
Dr. Dean Ornish, the M.D. who has done such cutting-edge research on the reversal of heart disease, has recently written a very interesting adjunct to his heart research and disease-reversal programmes. From studies published to date, it is apparent that the quality and number of relationships in a person's life is up to four times as powerful an indicator of their likelihood of maintaining lifelong health, as well as their likelihood of healing from any type of ailment, than any other single intervention, or combination of interventions. He wrote the book because he found that physicians and medical institutions elsewhere were leaving out the community development part of his recovery programme, and not achieving his spectacular results.
This is particularly interesting with respect to autistic spectrum people, since we are often missing the cultural cues which allow for close and meaningful relationships (particularly the males; my theory is that this relates to less connection between the left and right hemispheres of the brain in males). Many books have been written and programmes created around improving emotional intelligence, communication skills, relationship depth, and collaborative efforts. Through role-playing and observation, these skills are teachable to those in the autistic spectrum; the healthier our bodies are, the easier it is for us to sort out the relevant social signals, and learn new patterns and ways of being.
I want to emphasize this because of my own experiences. I grew up part of a team of closely-spaced siblings, who provided a great deal of stimulation (and competition), and who loved and accepted me for who I was. My parents chose to keep me at home and "see" in a time when most infants who rocked, droned, banged their heads on things, barely slept, emoted wildly, and chewed incessantly were institutionalized. Although an outcast at school, I was part of a team on wilderness canoe trips, and I was given the substantial gift of inclusion in an active and friendly adult church choir at 13. These and other things helped me understand that although alien, I was still acceptable, loveable, and worth communicating with; experiencing acceptance, love, and true communication made me want to connect, better and better. It was my biggest motivation to come out of the fog.
Community Meals
The thought of making a switch to a completely organic, allergen-free, rotation diet can be anywhere from daunting to overwhelming for even a healthy, single person, with time for leisure. When parents or other care-givers of autistic spectrum individuals are faced with this thought, they don’t know whether to laugh, fume, or cry. They are often so challenged by just being in the life they are now in, that they can’t envision having the time to learn how to make the change, never mind convince their children – or the rest of their families – that it’s a good idea.
One of the truisms for children is that they’ll often eat foods away from home which they’d never touch when coming from their own kitchen and family members. One of the truisms for adults is that something which is a chore when you do it alone can be an enjoyable learning and social experience when you do it with others. Organizing community buying clubs can significantly reduce shopping time. Making multiples of the same recipe in an evening, with a collection of other householders doing the same, and exchanging portions at the end of the evening, can be a major support for filling your freezer with 1-2 weeks worth of premade meals. You’ll know those meals are good for your family, because you’ve shared the recipes ahead of time, or at your previous cooking evening.
Of course, you can go further, by having monthly or biweekly potlucks where each of you is observing what all the children are grazing from. If Mr. Smith notices that Johnny Jones keeps coming back to the herbed carrots that Smith laboured over, Mr. Smith can then make an arrangement to send those carrots over to the Joneses weekly, “for Johnny” (or slip the recipe to Johnny’s parents). Autistic children tend to be more comfortable around adults and other autistics, mostly because they are met with acceptance, instead of expectations. This makes it much easier to just “be”, and actually enjoy the event – after having adjusted to the change in routine!
Community Housing or Co-Housing
Forming a support network with other families who have autistic members works if you live geographically nearby. It gets easier when you share a neighbourhood and some community facilities like church kitchens, daycares, babysitters, and schools. But by far the easiest way to support each other in creating an optimal environment for autistics and their families is to live in a neighbourhood which all of you helped design, to physically enable the ways in which you desire to support each other in health and well-being.
Pioneered in Denmark, this type of housing is spreading all over the world, particularly among people who can see the immediate benefits of collaborating, such as the elderly, the environmentalists, the charities, the students, the religious, and the disabled. People are collaboratively designing their communities so that the activities and services they most want will be available, along with the companionship they desire. They’re hiring their own staff, setting their own priorities, and having all the advantages of living in a condo, plus that most critical of all factors: they have decicion-making power.
It’s so popular that once the units are built – or retrofitted into old buildings – the resale value climbs, and there’s usually a waiting list of people wanting to move into the neighbourhood. Often a cluster of homes nearby are purchased by others wanting to share in the community resources provided by the co-housing. The organizing process can be as short as a few months between conceptualization and the start of construction, or it can drag out for years. It all depends on the willingness of the participants to learn new communication skills, for effective collaboration.